May 10

There is, apparently, such a thing as worrying about worrying, which I am prone to doing with my memorized music. I have played it all before, but something about tomorrow makes me nervous and all the over-practicing in the world won’t rid me of my nerves. So much of my world, and so much of my understanding of the world, centers on performance and practice – I hardly know where music ends and everything else begins. Isn’t that what people love most about live music, though? The seamless stitch between instrument and instrumentalist. This was not how I was four years ago. It is beautiful, and terrifying.

look: Restoration of a Roman Mosaic Excavated from Castulo, located near modern Linares, Jaén
listen: Remy van Kesteren, Tomorrow Eyes
read: Allen Ginsberg, A Supermarket in California