May 11

Stil de grain is a pigment traditionally derived from unripe buckthorn berries. It appears dark brown when layered on thickly, and bright yellow when applied in a thin layer, a color reminiscent of the french horn cookie I had earlier today.

Most times, people remember the food, not the recital. I remember the food: a fancy French Horn shaped cookie and Margherita pizzas – a hurried, bemusing and frustrating dash to McDonalds before then – a whole box of strawberries for $2 and a round jar of kimchi. It poured rain today and I was so anxious I forgot a passage of my piece during the performance, but the van was warm and my heart is full from the image of blurry stoplights and the sound of poorly sung Beatles’ songs from in between disposable dress covers containing ballgowns with more sparkles on them than should be legal.

look: Maciek Janicki, “The Life of Van Gogh”
listen: Henriette Renie, Contemplation
read: Haruki Murakami, The Second Bakery Attack