May 8

Spring means mulch and mulch means spring, and I have mixed feelings about the whole lot. I quite like the look, actually – for whatever, reason, mulch feels startlingly vivacious, despite usually being a general composite of dead or decaying plant matter.

Caput mortuum is a Latin term (literally meaning “dead head” or “worthless remains”) used in alchemy and also as the name of a pigment. In alchemy, it signified a useless substance left over from a chemical operation and was the epitome of decline and decay. It is also sometimes an alternative name for mummy brown, whose use as a pigment was discontinued in the 19th century when artists became aware that it originated from ground-up mummies. Curiously enough, it is also known as cardinal purple and was a very popular color for painting the robes of religious figures and important personages.

Creativity is often criticized for being too amenable towards death, and therefore overly romanticized and schmaltzy (“harp vomit” as we like to call it in performance). I have had a friend ask if being a languishing, tortured soul might be a necessary component to significant artistic fruitfulness. I told her I supposed an ear was payment enough for being exhibited in the Musée d’Orsay. I suspect, however, that there might remain something to be said about the 87% of professional orchestral musicians who struggle with moderate/severe depression and anxiety.*

*numbers gathered from a recent informal survey of 300+ registered musicians in ICSOM (International Conference of Symphony and Opera Musicians)

look: Kawanabe Kyosai, Hyakki Yagyo
listen: Mahler, Symphony 1
read: Anne Sexton, “The Ambition Bird”